- On April 24, 2013
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Wow 25 Years in Business – Getting ready for the next 25 – 2013
I can’t believe for a little over six months, every week I wrote a post for my blog. The funny part is I hate writing and I never learned to type. I am the hunt and peck kind of typist. My kids laugh at me all the time when I type. But every week I looked forward to going and sitting at my little cheap desk in the basement and tell my story of building a business, raising a family, becoming the happy empty nesters, and my struggles in overcoming the affects of my sexual abuse.
I never dreamed my blog would be read in 35 countries and growing. I never believed the feedback would be so positive from so many people. For me, it has been the power of healing for myself and at the same time helping others overcome the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. The post when I said I had been sexually abused, and then went on to tell how bad that trauma affected me has been life changing for me. I was scared to death to put it all on the internet, but the outpouring of support and the many people who said I had helped them, made stepping out and telling this story worth the risk.
I also had a chance to reflect every week over the last six months about the journey of building a business. I remember 25 years ago being so afraid to even try to start a business. Fortunately Karla and I were so broke and I had my wife’s total support that we figured we had nothing to lose by trying. Boy did I exceed my greatest dreams in my life. The impact from my childhood made me deep down inside, never expect myself to get past average. I didn’t expect great things to happen to a tarnished kid that had been sexually abused. Unfortunately that is just how most of us think that have been abused, we feel tarnished and not worthy of anything really great ever happening to us.
I am blessed because I never lost my desire to dream big or my desire to be happy. I also knew love and laughter was something that heals all wounds. To be loved by my wife, kids, family and true friends unconditionally is something that can’t be replaced and heals your deepest hurts. The key is allowing yourself to be loved. For a long time I was great at loving others, but I really didn’t let people truly love me because I was afraid of being hurt as I was a 10-year-old child. It was not until a few years ago that I learned this about myself. Once I allowed myself to accept others love, my life began to change. It gave me the courage to tell my story. Love gives courage to the weak, and I was weak inside from years of fear, anxiety, and worry from my childhood. Over the last 21 years since I first told my wife about my childhood trauma, I have been going through an incredible internal growth that I didn’t know existed in me. I still have my moments of fear, anxiety and worry, but it feels different now. I feel a rebirth, starting fresh and free. It is hard to explain, but I feel almost like a kid again that had never been abused. The memories will never go away and certain things will still trigger my PTSD, but I feel an internal peace and life in my grasp that I have longed to live for over 46 years.
I have a new excitement about the construction business. Even though the great recession is far from over and we still have a tough time trying to win new work. I know that with the great people we have on our team and our ability to build great buildings, eventually great things will happen for our company.
On Sunday after church, I went and saw the movie 42 about Jackie Robinson breaking the color line in baseball. The movie was so inspiring for a number of reasons for me. The movie showed courage and the power that love has in all of our lives. The courage of Jackie Robinson to never give up and the courage of others to accept him and welcome him as they saw the horrible treatment of a fellow human being. It showed me how the love for a game and the love for humanity can overcome and win eventually; we have to be willing to stay the course.
The movie gave me the courage to keep trying and reminded me of my love for construction and architecture and to stay the course and stop being tired of the great recession and tired of the affects of my childhood trauma.
I am finding new energy and strength that had left me the last few years. I owe a lot of this to each of you that have read my blog and those that send me words of encouragement saying don’t quit telling your story.
Over the last 25 years of building a business, my kids are now adults and making a way for themselves. My son has started video gaming website and trying to do his own business in the IT field. I am very proud of him and check out his website: www.thegreybackpack.com I told my son only two things can happen if you try, either you make it or you don’t, but at least you will have tried. My beautiful daughter is a struggling song writer, singer and actress. She is extremely talented and I tell her to go for her dreams. She is trying to make it too in her field and decided to come back to the business and work and learn the business as her back up, just in case. She is very talented and it will happen for her entertainment success when it is meant to happen for her.
Words can never express what my wife Karla means to me and how she pulled me through the darkest period of my life. This is the true meaning of love and the power of love. I love her so much and I am glad she is my life partner.
Last but certainly not least is the power of faith and belief in God. When I didn’t think I would make it through the year of 1992 from a near total breakdown, my faith and trust in God held my hand and often carried me. I knew in 1992 I would never give up my trust and faith in God regardless of how bad things seemed in my life. I knew in 1992, as long as I could get up each morning, I had a chance for a better day. The power of determination and the will to get out of your darkness is a powerful tool we can use in life. My dad taught me years ago, when he said son, if you have to beat people upside the head to prove your religious beliefs, then you aren’t living right. I knew what he meant; let your walk match your talk.
As we go forward I will keep you posted on my journey of healing and my new energy to build some really great buildings and we will celebrate 50 years of business together in 25 years. I will still be writing in 2038.
Regardless of your past and the affects of your past, never give up, never lose hope and allow the power of love to be in your heart daily.
I will see you again in a few weeks and hope to write my first book from this blog by the end of 2013. Stay on me to get it completed. I have no idea how to write a book, but I didn’t know how to write a blog either until 6 months ago.
I am making my first big public speech on Thursday this week on being a sexual abuse survivor. If you are a praying person, please give a prayer that my words are inspiring and helpful to someone who needs some uplift in their life at that moment. When you can, do something to make someone else smile and give them a helping hand when you can and expect nothing in return.
I am attaching an article this week in the Atlanta Journal Constitution written by Sheila Poole about my journey. http://www.ajc.com/news/news/local/metro-businessman-finds-internal-peace-speaking-ou/nXS96/
Please check out my son’s video gaming website: www.thegreybackpack.com
I am enclosing my favorite video of my daughter singing:
Moodyspeaks will keep you updated on our progress. Life is good so enjoy it every day. Please enjoy the pictures of 25 years in business.