My name is Diana Dunham and I am a child sex abuse survivor. The details of my abuse are not what matters but it is how I survived and became a stronger person today. I was abused by a close family member and told no one that is until my daughter was born and as she grew older I feared she would succumb to the same abuse as I did. I needed to protect her. I distanced myself totally from my family and received months and months of counseling. I sunk into a very deep depression and at one time thought of taking my own life. Were it not for the love and support of my husband I would never have survived and because of this I am a stronger person today.
What I can tell you is it is never ever your fault and there are people that can help you. Seek those people out. Seek out people who understand what you are going through and will listen and hug you and help you heal.
I was very fortunate to have found a counselor that could afford all of the above. You may need to seek out the counsel of more than one counselor because you may not find the perfect match at first. Don’t give up. You are too important to live with this burden.
My biggest fear once I came to terms was telling my mother. Would she believe me? Would my father apologize? Both these things did happen and while I will never forget what happened to me I have learned to live with it. I was not the one at fault and I was very very brave to reach out for help and to tell the most important people in my life.
My father died shortly after I confronted him and I do believe he suffered for what he had done. With his dying breathe he asked my mom if he would be going to Hell for what he had done. He atoned for his sins I do believe.
Today I am mother, grandmother and wife and am a successful employee and have returned to college. I will not allow what happened to me as a child define who I am today. While what happened to me was a tragedy and could have affected me the rest of my life, as my husband says, I am a survivor. It is up to us to reach out to others who have suffered, who are suffering and who will suffer and encourage them with words of hope and strength. Always remember, you are not alone and it is/was not your fault.
I hope my story in some small way brings you comfort. Please remember you are not alone and you are not to blame. Seek the guidance of one person to share your story with and a burden will be lifted. You are perfect just the way you are. God Bless.